Dear Future Girlfriend,

I would just like to name what kind of girlfriend I will be to you:

-We can cook together. (even if we both suck). And I can cook your favorite meals for you.
-I will make you breakfast and/or dinner.
-I will play guitar for you. (although I’m not too good, and don’t know much)
-We may have tickle fights.
-We can make fun of each other, and call each other names like ‘butthead’.
-We can be competitive when it comes to our favorite sport teams.
-We can watch movies and cuddle.
-We can travel places together and go on fun dates.
-I will be patient for you.
-No matter what, you will always be beautiful to me. I mean it.
-I will say cheesy, (but true), things to make you smile.
-If you ever cry, I will hold you close and wipe your tears.
-I will play with your hair & give you scalp massages.
-I will send you texts to let you know I am thinking about you when we are not together.
-I will love your family, and hopefully become part of it.
-I will trace my fingertips over the curves and depths of your skin.
-I will always believe in you.
-I will take care of you when you’re sick, hurt, or sad.
-I will cuddle with you whenever you want/need.
-I will kiss you whenever you want/need.
-I will hug you whenever you want/need.
-I will hold you whenever you want/need.
-I will do anything whenever you want/need it. (I hope you get the gist)
-I will talk about you, only in the best of ways of course.
-I will try to be your ‘home’.
-I will try my best to brighten up your bad days.
-I will let you lay your head on my chest and listen to the rhythm you create of my heart.
-We can face our fears together, I will protect you from everything and anything.
-I will be anything and do anything for you.
-I will let you fall asleep in my arms.
-I will quit smoking cigarettes and drinking for you.
-I will find a way to see you, even if it’s hard.
-I will text you, call you, and see you as much as I can, I will never ignore you.
-I will give you one of my sweatshirts or T-shirts to wear when I’m not with you.
-I will always be there for you.
-I will always send you a “Good morning Beautiful” and “Goodnight Beautiful” text.
-I will always be faithful.
-I will always tell you how beautiful (inside and out) you are to me.
-I will show how much I love and care for you.
-And one day I will marry you.

Love, me.
(There are many more things, but it’s 5AM)

Dear Future Girlfriend,

                I’m not perfect.               

                I don’t mean that in the sense that none of us are perfect, because that’s true too; but I mean that in the sense that I mess up. A lot.

                I lash out. When I’m angry, I get mean. I say the things I know will hurt you the most because I have this need to make you feel worse than me; like it’s some kind of sick competition. But I think that maybe I do that because I need to know that nothing I ever say or do will make you leave because I have abandonment issues. Plain and simple.

                When my parents got divorced, my mom left physically and my dad left emotionally. My mom tried her hardest to be there for me but I only saw her twice a week for a few hours, if that. There’s only so much we can accomplish in that small amount of time. My dad didn’t try at all; he sat on the couch and let me become the mother of his children and caretaker of the house. Any way you look at it, I was a girl without parents for a while. And ever since then, it’s seemed like everyone I’ve ever cared about leaves. Friends leave, lovers leave, family leaves; all that’s left for me to do is stand there and watch everyone I care about walk away from me.

                What does that say about me? Does that mean I’m not good enough? I’m not kind enough or fun enough or important enough to keep people around? There’s just something about me that isn’t worth sticking around for?

                So you see the issues I have. You see my incredibly low sense of self-worth. You see the way  my mind works. You see how everything that goes wrong in my life is always my fault, no matter what.

                This is the frame of mind you are working with here. You are entering a relationship with a girl who doesn’t even know how to love herself, much less love you.

                And that terrifies me. I hate not knowing things. That’s something you’ll come to learn about me; I hate the unknown. When I was younger, I had a nightlight because I was afraid of the dark. As I got older I realized that it wasn’t the dark I was afraid of, it was the fact that the dark was a representation of the unknown; it was that when it was dark, I couldn’t see, and I had no way of knowing what was lurking in the shadows to get me. So that fear of the dark transformed and manifested itself into a burning desire to know, learn, absorb. My mind constantly wants to know more, more, more.

                So even though I will have no idea what I’m doing in our relationship, or how to love you, I’ll learn. I’ll follow your lead, I’ll do my research, and I’ll learn. I can’t promise it will be easy. Loving me is not easy. But I am a determined and stubborn woman and when I set my mind to something I follow through; I will work my hardest to figure out what love is and how to be able to return to you everything you will inevitably give me.

                I don’t like to make promises, because there is nothing certain about life. I cannot promise to kiss you every day of forever, because there will be times when we’re apart. I cannot promise to make it home for dinner every night, because there will be nights where I will have to work late. I cannot promise that we will grow old together, because death is even more unpredictable than life.

                Here are things I can promise.

                I promise to love you with everything I have. I promise to love you fiercely and protectively and passionately and daily. I promise to be there for you when you need me, whether it be physically or emotionally. Love is an action, and I promise to wake up every day and choose to love you. I promise to do things that surprise you, because for all of my planning, I love spontaneity. I promise to try my hardest to make you laugh when you’re sad, because laughter is the best medicine. I promise to work for you and for our relationship, because nothing in life is ever handed to you on a silver platter. I promise to share household chores evenly, because we are equal partners. I promise to be the big spoon when you need it and let you know when it’s your turn to be the big spoon because I need it. I promise to wrap you in my arms and silently let you know that in that, I am wrapping you in my love, my soul, my heart. I promise to apologize when I hurt you, because that’s something I do when I’m afraid. I promise to always communicate openly with you, because if we don’t have honest conversation then we have nothing. I promise to respect and listen to your opinions even when they differ from mine. I promise to trust you, in a deeper sense than just me falling backwards into your arms. I promise to raise our children with you in a way that will make us both proud.

                In our life together, there will be struggles. There will be shouted arguments and slammed doors and angry tears and broken sobs and pounding headaches and so much pain. But in some ways, that’s more beautiful than the blissful times we’ll share, because how would we know happiness without anything to compare it to? And that kind of intense emotion is a result of passion and so much caring.

                I’m not the easiest person to live with. I do a great number of things that if you do them I will want to punch you in the face. I’m a hypocrite. I can admit that. I won’t let you chew ice around me, but if I sit down next to you on the couch with a cup of ice and start chewing, I expect you to let me. I know that’s difficult.

                Call me out on it.

                Don’t let me get away with things because you’re afraid I’ll get angry. I will. That’s an inevitability. Don’t let me get away with that either. Call me out on my bullshit and tell me that my behavior is unacceptable; one day, I hope that if you tell me enough, it’ll change that behavior. One day, if you stick by me and you bear with me and you endure my awful actions, they’ll stop. There will be one thing more important to me than being right.

                You.

Love,

Me.

There are times when I feel so lonely, even if I am surrounded by people. Times when I feel like I can scream until my lungs hurt and still there’s no-one who hears me. Times when I feel like crying my eyes out and falling apart and there’s no-one there to pick up the pieces. I wish that someday, you will be there to do so for me. You don’t have to do anything but hold me.

And in return, I will be your crying shoulder. I will go on long walks with you and hold your hand when we’re with friends. I will take cheesy couple pictures with you and post them on internet, showing everybody my girlfriend. I will wake you up with small kisses and make you breakfast on the bed. I will challenge you on videogames and bet you kisses that I win. I will always try and make sure that you have a smile on your face. I will sing to you all the time. We will talk about everything and nothing until we both fall asleep. But most of all, I will make sure that not a day goes by without you knowing how beautiful you are and how much I truly love you.

I need you so hurry up and make your way into my life.

Love,
Me

Let me start off by being completely honest here.. I’m completely imperfect. I’m broken in so many ways.. I’m insecure, I’m shy and impatient at times, and I really don’t know what I want. I get why it would be hard to want someone like me, but get to know me.. the real me that too many people often don’t get to see, and you’ll find something worthwhile, I promise. I don’t need you to clean, ever - I’ll do that. I don’t need you to cook for me, ever - I’ll do that. But please.. just love me. I don’t need money, that’s the least of my interests in life, much less in the girl of my dreams. I just long for that old fashioned love that’s been long since forgotten by our generation. I hope never to make you cry. The thought of a girl crying breaks my heart, and myself being the reason behind it.. it’s unforgiveable. The only form in which I will ever lay a hand on you will always be out of nothing but love. I swear to love you at every end of the day, no matter what obstacles we face because that’s what genuine love is about; it’s unwavering, no matter the circumstances. So no, I don’t promise to be this perfect girl. I’m clumsy, I act on impulse, and make plenty of mistakes. But I do promise to love you for all you are and show you every day just how much you make my heart sing, and never let anything in the world change that.

Anonymous asked: how many followers do you have? :]

A lovely few. :) Why do you ask?

I know you’re out there somewhere. Far away or close up, I know you’re out there. The girl of my dreams who considers people watching a dream date. Considers spending the day skipping work or school at a cafe with a mocha and cake pops is one of the best days of her life. 
I know you’re out there. The girl who is okay with simply laying in bed all day, exploring each other’s bodies, cuddling close and whispering jokes in each others ears all day. At one point going as far as promising absolute silence, watching a movie and placing kisses all over each other. Where sex isn’t everything, but it still is important. Where pet names are the most adorable in the world.
Where laying around in a tank top and boxers is comfortable, and music is a necessity.
I know you’re out there, my one true love, and I look forward to meeting you someday very soon.
My lazy little bird. <3  

I want to make you smile when you’re sad and I’ll do anything to make you happy. I’ll tell you how beautiful you are every single day. I want to take you on romantic dates and take you to look at the stars. I want to cook you your favorite meals and bake things with you. And I’ll even let you pick the movies we watch on movie nights. I’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated, because you mean so much to me already.

Love, me.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

I promise you that If you’re the last one to text me at night, then I’ll be the first one to text you in the morning. Goodnight, good morning. It is always a good end with you, and an even better beginning with you. I want to be at the point in our lives where I can say you were my past, my present, and even though we don’t know what the future holds I know without a doubt that you will be the one thing in my future that is for certain.

While I was laying in bed last night my mind was wandering about all the things that I’d like to do with you. The places we can go and see. The sights, culture, food and more. And then it hit me that the world is such a giant place, with countless things to see and do. And even if we don’t get to see everything, do everything and explore as much as we both want to, that I am beyond okay with that. I’m okay with not getting to experience those things. I’m okay that even though I know we’ll travel, we wont get to see and do everything.

And now you’re wondering why I’d be so okay without having done those things we dreamed of. It’s actually rather simple. It’s because I know in my heart, the adventures we do have are going to be the most memorable times of my life. With you by my side. With you in my life. With you.

You are my adventure. It doesn’t matter where we go, or what we do. You’re my pirate ship sailing the seven seas. You’re my hot air balloon flying high in the sky. You’re my warmth on cold nights under the stars.

You’re my adventure.

Dear Future Girlfriend,

I hope things aren’t messy. I hope things aren’t confusing or easy to misunderstand. So much of my life has been a mess, and when you get here, I just want everything to be clean and certain. I want to make sure you know without a doubt what you are to me. I love you more. More than anyone, any memory, anything.

I’m worried.

I’m worried I won’t be a good girlfriend - that I won’t be able to give you all that you can give me.

I’m worried I won’t be very good at protecting you, though I’ll try my hardest.

I’m worried I’ll be too insecure about what people think, but I’ll try my best to put their thoughts out of my head.

I’m worried that I’ll lose you before I even have you.

I’m worried that I won’t be strong enough to pick you up and kiss you, though I would love to do that.

I’m worried that although I’ll put my all into loving you, it still won’t be enough.

I’m worried that because I’m so shy, I’ll never find you.

Please help me to not be worried anymore.

Love,

Me x