I’ve finally come out to myself. It was a big step, I’ve been denying myself for so long, and I finally realized that I am not who my family wants me to be, and that’s okay. After being in shitty relationships for years, I finally realized, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’ve just been trying very hard to be something I’m not, looking for affection in all the wrong places. Nobody could really love me, because I didn’t love myself. I can’t go on pretending. I feel suddenly much more confident, knowing who I am and not trying to sweep it under the rug.
I’m not sure who you are yet, but I know I’ll find you someday, and when I do I PROMISE you, I will be everything you deserve. Someday I will find you, the girl I’ve been looking for secretly for so long. I will fight for you, I will stand up with you when times are hard, I will pick you up when you fall down…
I’m strange, and confusing, and not even a little bit perfect,
and maybe I am a freak, like the people in my schools used to call me,
and yes I have a lot of issues, and I’m broken, and sad,
but I’m the best me that I can be.
I will be your gentleman/lady/human.
I will bring you flowers and memorize your favorite kind of candy.
I will take you on cute dates, and cook you dinner, and go on adventures with you.
I will look deep into your soul, and love you for what I see there,
and I will open my soul up to you and let you see me, the real me,
and hope that what you see doesn’t scare you away.
I know I’ll find you someday.
I just hope you’re willing to be found by me.
Anonymous asked: Omg this is sooooo adorable! :)
Thank you! Depending on where you are in the world, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. <3
Dear Future Girlfriend,
We have already met, a hundred times before. But I never thought we would be this close, that we would be this special to each other. We are separated by distance, a thousand of miles, a 12-hour difference of time, and a busy schedule, but Bebe please keep this in mind, I WILL BE WITH YOU AGAIN, maybe not sooner, but on the right time. Just please believe in me, give me your trust, I won’t hurt you I swear.
You run in my mind all single minute of the day, it feels like hell not being able to talk to you. I imagine you by my side, it makes up my day. I read our conversations over and over again, it still fills my stomach with butterflies. You are just so perfect for me, the one I have been asking for how many years. I love every single detail about you, along with your flaws (even though you don’t seem to have one).
I want to see you again, have a date with you, go to the beach with you, make my ex-girlfriends jealous that I have you, go around the world with you, be proud to my friends about you, have a long road trips with you, sleep and cuddle with you, watch movies with you, get drunk and high with you, take care and protect you, have a house with you, and offer the rest of my life to you. MAKE YOU MY WORLD.
I’m having the hardest time of my life now. It’s been three months, almost four since I came out to my parents and last talked about it. When I meet you, I’ll give you more details, but to put it simply, they did not take the news well at all. My dear, I am also sad because I had to transfer schools because I couldn’t afford my other school. I’m adjusting and getting used to my new school, but I miss my old school terribly. To be honest, my love, I’m starting to doubt your existence. I haven’t even met you yet, but I can honestly say that I love you with all my heart and soul. I’m ready to give you everything that I have and to receive your love. I long for mornings where I wake up with you in my arms. I can’t wait to laugh with you, share our inner-most thoughts, and spend a lifetime with you. I want to be your protector, but to be honest, I’m scared that I may not be able to, or that I may need more protection than you. I want your support, of course, but I want to be your Knight in Shining Armor. I want to ease your pains and be there for you when you’re struggling. I hope you’re out there. If you’re going through a tough time right now too, just know that you will overcome it. I know you will. I want you to know that I am here, waiting to love you uncontrollably and passionately. Mi Amor, we will meet someday, you can bet on that. I will make sure that it happens. Until then, though, we must try to take care of ourselves and make ourselves into the best people we can be for us, each other, God, and the world.
I love you.
Your Knight in Shining Armor
I have only had one other girlfriend and she clearly was not the right one for me. And yet, I fell for her. That’s why as much as I dream of finally having you in my arms, I am terrified as well. I’m scared that I will give my love away to someone who doesn’t deserve it. I want my love to be for you and you alone. I want to confide in you my greatest joys, my greatest fears, and my shameful secrets. I want you to love me despite my faults, but I also want you to love me for all of my endearing qualities too. I want to be your knight in shining armor and protect you from what the world has to throw at us. I am scared because maybe at a first glance, I won’t look like a knight. I’m scared that you’ll be disappointed to find a short, petite, bookish, introverted tomboy and think that I’M the one who should be protected. I want your support, but I want to be the protector. I want to hold you in my arms, caress your face as I look into your mesmerizing eyes.
I think about you all the time. I wonder what you will be like and if I will ever meet you. I hope you don’t mind that my parents have a problem with me being gay. The rest of my family will make you a part of theirs though. I hope that you will stick by me when I have to confront my parents about us because I love them as much as I will love you. If you’re in the closet still too, I will be right there, holding your hand the entire way.
I cannot tell you how many nights I’ve yearned to be with you. On starry nights, in amusement parks, in the woods. I want to take you places. To beaches, to mountains, to cities, to countrysides. I want to hold the door open for you. I want to make something for you. I want to buy you flowers and candy and gifts. I want to find my Christian faith again in you. I want to sing to you and be intimate with you. But most of all, I want you to love me. Every part of me, good and bad. And I will love you for all that you are and all that you hope to be. I promise.
Until that fateful day that we meet, I am thinking of you, missing you, and loving you, mi amor.
Your Knight in Shining Armor
I don’t know if I’ve met you or not. If I have, how are you? If I haven’t, well hi. I don’t know how you’ll be, but I know you’ll amaze me. Whatever you may look like, I’ll think you’re gorgeous. I keep my promises, and there’s one promise I’ll make you right now. No matter what you’ve been through and what you’ve done in the past, no matter what you’re going through now, no matter how many people have left, no matter how many people you think can’t possibly understand you, I promise I’ll always be there for you, and that I’ll listen and understand as best I can. You’re amazing, whoever you are. And I’ll do my best to be whatever you need, while still being myself. I know the girlfriend I want to be. And I want to be my best for you.
All I ask, is that as awesome as I may be, I’m not perfect. I have my flaws which you’ll lean about. I guess all I’m hoping for is that you’ll love me, for who I am, and that you’ll want to be with ,e as much as I want to with you. Ideally, I’d love if you pursued me. Take me on adventures. Stay up late to talk to me. Surprise me. Chase me if I run. Play sports with me. Just, experience all of life with me. Good. Bad. Beautiful. Ugly. Happy. Sad. Whatever life has to bring. I’m a shy, quiet, semi-awkward, adorable, patient, caring, understand, Supernatral-watching, Harry Potter-liking, Even more Harry Potter- watching,Eragon -loving, fairy tale believing, Hard rock and other music listening/singing, hopeless romantic, dorky girl. (I hope you find most or some of that cute, attractive, or at least bearable! ) No matter what or who I am, I will love you. I will love you with all of my being; open mind, open heart, open arms. Just come find me, and I’m yours <3
You and I may have met yet, we might not have met yet, but what we haven’t done yet is fall in love. Because we’re going to.
We’re going wake up next to each other, and spam our friends’ Facebooks with dumb pictures of us kissing, and we’re going to do all the things I laughed at other couples doing before I met you.
You are not my other half. I am a whole person on my own.
But with you, I will be a better person, I’m sure of it.
(I’ll also have a habit of calling you love. In bed, moaning it. In the pouring rain, having to shout it to be heard. On our dates, out in public, so everyone knows that you are mine and I am yours. I’ll call you love when I don’t, because you’ll know it by the silence.)
Because I’ll love you. I already love you now. And one day, when you finally love me back, things will finally start to be okay. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Not only are you my future girlfriend, you’re my ex girlfriend as well. We met at the wrong time. And we are starting over, so that makes you both my ex, and my future. I’m glad though, because I love you more than you know. I know we live in Florida and it doesn’t get that cold, but it gets cold in movie theaters and restaurants and in the car and I plan on taking you on dates and giving you my sweater. I only have a few, but I’d give you everything I have if it meant you were comfortable. I’d follow you to Canada where we would have to buy a bunch of sweaters and of course visit Napanee, where Avril Lavigne was raised. You know how much I love her. I would tell you every day how much I love you. I would let you know how beautiful you really are even when you don’t feel good. I’d let you play with my hair and write silly things on me in sharpie and kiss me whenever you want because I know that that’s just what you want.
Dear future girlfriend, I love you. Dear future girlfriend, I know I say I don’t need you but I really want you. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and more.
Dear Future Girlfriend,
I need you to know something. If you’re going through a rough patch. It does get better. I promise, and if you need proof. Look at me. Just keep pushing through because we’re going to meet soon. I feel it in my bones.
Here are some things that make me happy/relaxed:
-Reading The Price of Salt
-Thinking of you
-playing with pets
- going out
-having a hot bath
Use what you know the best, that helps you. While I’m not there, know that I am thinking of you. Everything is going to be okay; be patient love.
Dear Future Girlfriend,
I don’t really know that I’m someone worth dating, I’ve got a lot of problems and there’s no use lying about that. As if that isn’t bad enough I know that I can be bossy, and I’m a bit of a nag but I usually have the best of intentions, I swear I do. I’m trying to get better about everything but you’ll have to be patient with me, and for the love of all things deep-fried and smothered in chocolate just please talk to me, and tell me if I’m doing something wrong because I don’t know otherwise.
I’ve dated a couple people but its always been long, long distance so I really don’t know what its like to properly be with someone and I’m scared. I know I don’t look like it at first but I’m only just acting tough, because it feels like that’s what the world expects of me. I’m so tired of that, I need someone I don’t have to pretend around. Someone who doesn’t expect anything of me but for me to be myself because I want you to feel the same way with me.
Can’t we just be goofy? I’m not much of a risk taker but I like to be spontaneous in quiet ways. We can haul ourselves out of bed early, or stay out really late and hole up in some cafe and just talk. Walk around the city until the sun comes up and then go home and pass out till noon. I hope you like the rain because if you ask me that’s the best time to be outside, and you better love the snow too because there will be unexpected snowballs and I don’t give up easy in a fight.
I’m gonna go ahead and apologize in advance because I love to cook, and when I cook I sing 80s jams with the radio on and I really can’t sing.. or dance - but I’m gonna do it anyway because I believe food tastes better when you have fun making it. And by the way, I believe life should be a musical, so I’ve almost always got some sort of music on and I’m not very picky about it. I’d love it if you were into music too, so we could share the bands we know and make the best playlists out of the songs we love and we can listen to them all the time.
Oh hun, I can’t wait to meet you, I’m sorry that I’m introverted and that I’m quiet and when it comes to new things it can be hard to get me to take the brakes off and just try. I’m really just scared of failing, or screwing things up and honestly I’m no pioneer, I’m very much a homebody. But I promise that I’ll always be there for you, and that for you I’ll try to open up.
Just wont you please come around already,
I just can’t wait to meet you.
Dear Future Girlfriend,
Hi, hey, hello. How goes your life? Is everything summing up to your content? My name is Alexis. Pleased to introduce myself. I was wondering if you fancy random adventures? I was thinking since October will be on it’s way soon, we could spend our time watching horror flicks, going to haunted houses, going for ghost walks, and perhaps having bonfires? The cool thing about me is, I own a ton of sweaters, cardigans, and hoodies. So believe me when I say if you’re cold, I have just the thing for you. Not only will I let you wear my clothing, (borrow it, whatever you’d like) when you feel cold, I’ll make you hot coco or home made coffee. Want to cuddle? I’m down for it. We can take road trips a couple hours away from home, and explore small shops, museums, and parks. Honestly, if you have any suggestions, I’m up for it. Want to go to the zoo? Even better. I have to warn you though, I really don’t like Giraffes. It’s weird, and I’m not sure why I don’t like them. But, I promise if that’s your favorite animal, I won’t complain. Also, we can have our own book club, we pick something we’d like to read, and discuss it. Or we just rent the movie, and decide what was done better. I hope you’re a big fan of popcorn, because I love that shit. (: Lastly, I hope that by any chance you’re reading this. I want you to be happy. So, no matter how you’d like us to spend our time, as long as you’re smiling, I will be too. Darling, have a wonderful morning/day/evening/night wherever you are.
I need you more than ever. Not because I’m lonely, and not because I’m trying to get over my ex girlfriend. She hurt me more than you can imagine, it started out perfect and things fell out of place in the end. I know I don’t deserve to be hurt like that again, and I’ve been gracefully moving on. I know have more of an understanding of what love truly is, and I want to share that with you. I want your hand to hold, I want to be safe in your arms when I’m upset or afraid. I cry a lot, I worry a lot, and I take no one’s bullshit. I never said I was perfect, but I’ll try my best to be perfect for you. I promise that I’ll never let you go and that I’ll be patient when times get rough. Whoever you are, wherever you are, please find me soon babe. I love you so much.